Thursday, March 3, 2011

2011 Oscars: Worst Dressed

There were some not-so-great looks at the Oscars too. I'm going to zip by Helena Bonham Carter because she kind of rocks her crazy styles, and Sharon Stone because she's just depressing. Also, how does she keep getting invited to the Oscars anyway?

1) Scarlett Johansson. This prune/plum contrasting lace/kinda see-through/kinda shiny/backless/sleeveless/with a train(!) monstrosity was just not cool in my book. It was "old" in all the wrong ways, like a granny doily, and somehow also really cheap-looking, like crappy lingerie, in other ways.
2) Michelle Williams. Yeah, we get it. You are a serene pixie who is an Actor and not won over by the poufs and gowns of less discerning actresses (note the lower case "a"). I'm sorry, but Gwyneth Paltrow already went through this phase a decade ago, and she pulled off this kind of dress a lot better. Blah.

3) Melissa Leo. She is crazy onstage and off! This dress is bananas. I don't like the collar, don't like the shoulder pads, hate the gold underlining beneath the crocheted lace. Oh, and I hate the hairstyle! And the center slit on the skirt! Basically, I just hate it all.

4) Marisa Tomei. Marisa Tomei is so gorgeous. And this look is not without redeeming features: She looks great in navy, awesome earrings, and flattering hair and makeup. But the vintage dress looks vintage in all the worst ways: bustline strangely high and too big, waistline high and very defined, pelvis area looking protruding and globe like thanks to vintage shape silhouette, and (worst of all) tulle on bottom faded and substantially different shade than the satin.

5) Colin Firth's wife, Livia. I'm so sorry because she isn't a movie star so it's not completely fair to criticize her fashion. That said, she is married to a nominee and would certainly be photographed. The weird tulle train on this dress is ugly, and so is the droopy bustline. The color is blah, and I don't really like the seaming on the front of the dress either. :(

6) Reese Witherspoon. This was the one that I got the most worked up over. WHAT WAS SHE THINKING!?!?! Cousin A pegged this as a retro-Barbie look, which I'll give her, but I thought of a more recent cultural reference... ...Remember on 90210 when Kelly and Brenda wore the same dress to the formal where Brenda ended up sleeping with Dylan for the first time? I do:

Reese Witherspoon totally stole the look!! Yuck. I hated this, and the high ponytail hair is worse than even Jennie Garth's french twist ponytail with tendrils as seen above.

7) Jennifer Hudson. It's so depressing that she lost all that weight and picked this dress to showcase it. I hate the tomato color. I really am uncomfortable with the arrangement of her cleavage. And it's all just kind of boring/trying too hard.

8) Florence Welsh. I recognize that she rocks the "thrift store couture" look frequently, and she could get points for less traditional shapes, but ultimately this is just ugly. What a zero color, and skirts like that were cringeworthy even back in 1977. The hair is a cool color, but she can't rely only on her hair to carry her through this mess.

1 comment:

  1. If you're gonna slag someone off then at least get their name right. It's Florence WELCH